First date fails
To find your prince, you’ve got to kiss a few frogs first. Everybody has their embarrassingly awkward dating stories. So, here are five of my first date fails, and what I’ve learned from each one.
The one-too-many drinks guy
After getting with each other on a night out, and realising that we’d already matched on Tinder, we decided to go for a drink. I was super nervous, but my housemates helped me choose an outfit and then I met him at a bar. It was kind of a fancy place, but we had a drink each and the conversation was flowing nicely. Then, we decided to try a cocktail bar. He treated me to two more and they were strong, but tasty. Three drinks in, we decided to go to another bar. By this point, he was pretty drunk. I was a tad tipsy, but had made the wise decision to eat dinner prior to going out. This boy, on the other hand, hadn’t eaten anything. It ended up with him paying for a taxi back to my house and inviting himself inside. He claimed to be ‘very tired’ and ‘only wanted to sleep’, but I knew his motives. I politely told him to go and that was the end of that.
Lesson learned: Always eat before hand and don’t get into the same taxi as someone you don’t want to go home with.
The hiker
My first date with a Spaniard, which meant speaking in Spanish. Only slightly difficult. We then decided to go hiking. Even more of a challenge. He was good looking, chatty, funny; I enjoyed spending time with him. However, I didn’t speak. I think it was a combination of nerves and trying not to appear horrendously out of breath whilst climbing up-hill. I gradually grew more confident when we sat down for tortilla and a drink at the end. It meant that the conversation was actually two-way for once. Despite squeaking out a few more words at the end, I let my nerves get the better of me and came across as shy, awkward and uninteresting.
Lesson learned: Save outdoor activities for the third date and be more confident!
The nice guy
My housemates and I had met him on tinder. We had made a group account to try and get to know groups of guys, but never actually managed to meet in person. Either way, we’d followed each other on Instagram and liked a few photos. He left a few comments on one of my pictures, which actually pissed me off because he had tagged a friend and it was a little inappropriate considering we’d never even met. Regardless, it sparked conversation and we ended up getting a drink. I expected him to be arrogant and cocky, but was mildly disappointed when he turned out to be really nice. He was easy to chat to and slightly goofy, which was sweet. But the spark wasn’t there and we didn’t meet up again. Still, a good chance to practice my Spanish and I tried out a new roof top bar I hadn’t been to before.
Lesson learned: Online profiles can be deceiving, and group tinder isn’t always successful.
The baby face
We met through friends and got chatting. After a while of WhatsApping, we decided to meet in person for a drink. We started off at a bar and then ended up sharing a kiss or two. I felt like a teenager again, chatting for hours before running to get the last metro home. As first dates go, it wasn’t that bad. However, when the next few times all he wanted to do was make-out on street corners and then rush off home because his parents needed him back by 10pm, I realised that I didn’t want to constantly feel like I was seventeen. I was also the chatty one. Going from not speaking at all, to being the main converser was a complete change. I led all the conversations and it was draining at times having to do it all in Spanish. It was time to move on to more mature things.
Lesson learned: Living out your 17-year-old self’s fantasy isn’t as fulfilling as expected. I need to find the balance between not talking at all and talking too much.
The Anti-vaxer
Another tinder date, another Spanish boy, another one I won’t be seeing again. It started off well, we were chatting away both in Spanish and English. He seemed easy to talk to, intelligent, ambitious. And then he brought up the topic of “that Covid hoax”. I thought I had misheard at first, but nope. He fully believed that it was a man-made virus and a way for the government to control us. I disagreed with pretty much everything he said but decided to hear him out. He had some… interesting opinions. Not just about the pandemic, but about only children. He’d created this stereotype of how a siblingless person would always be very selfish, spoilt, and ignorant. As an only child myself, I was pretty offended and tried to defend my kind, but there was no changing his mind. I tried to humour him, but in the end we had nothing in common and some very conflicting opinions.
Lesson learned: Anti-vaxers really do exist.
