Stop being productive
Life is short. Spend every day as if it’s your last. You only live once.
We are force fed these phrases all the time and it’s damaging. We receive enough pressure as it is about paying rent, getting a job, finding a partner, we don’t need yet another thing to worry about. I agree that time is precious and that we shouldn’t waste it, but that doesn’t mean we have to fill every single second of every single day.
In my case, it all started with FOMO. For those of you unaware, this stands for Fear Of Missing Out. As silly as it sounds, this is very real. I should know because I suffered from it. On some occasions, I would be lucky enough to get invited along to two events on the same night. “Wow,” you must be thinking, “what a hard life…” As great as this may seem, it came accompanied with a very difficult decision. Which one do I go to? I’m the most indecisive person, so this first part was always a challenge. After finally choosing to go to a bar with some friends instead of going to games night with my housemates, I ended up having a good time. Great, in fact! I caught up with people I hadn’t seen in a while, I had a few drinks, maybe I danced a little.
But, no matter how much fun I had, I would still be thinking about the option I never chose. When I saw the Instagram stories and heard all the jokes from the night I missed, I always felt shit. I was never satisfied, because the world was telling me to live my best life and what if I didn’t choose the best option?
I’ve since learned to let go and not put pressure on myself. I need to enjoy the experiences that I am having, and not focus on the ones I didn’t choose. As long as I’m content in my decision, then I haven’t really missed out on anything.
However, I still fell into the trap of needing to constantly do something productive. If I wasn’t out and about, or if I had nothing to show for my day, I felt useless. I had wasted time.
Every weekend I needed to have a plan. Whether that be hiking, going to a museum, or meeting a friend for a drink. It didn’t matter how big or small the event, I had to be doing something. Especially if the weather was good. In Bilbao, the sun is rarely shining, so you should really take advantage of it. But I would feel guilty for not soaking up every golden ray. One day, I had been outside for hours and hours. So, naturally, I spent the last 60 minutes of daylight in my room winding down, and I felt annoyed that I was at home. Ridiculous, isn’t it?
Even now, I like to have some sort of plan at the weekend, but I’m quite content with that being a small dinner with friends or painting a few canvases to decorate the living room.
I remember hearing in a ‘Yes Theory’ podcast that Matt Dajer’s therapist told him to stop reading books. I was surprised when I first heard that too, but it makes sense. A big element of productivity is having some kind of finished product. You often feel productive when completing a goal. This can be in the form of finalising an essay, assembling Ikea furniture, or finishing a book. For me, reading should be a way to escape reality and immerse yourself in an exciting new world. It’s something to be enjoyed.
However, I found myself counting how many paragraphs were left until the end of the page. Then how many pages left until the end of the chapter. And how many chapters left until the end of the book. I wasn’t reading because I wanted to; I was reading to feel productive. I didn’t even take in half of the information about how to “Not give a F***!” Which is a shame, because it probably would’ve come in handy.
I still need to work on this form of false productivity. But step by step I’m saying no to activities I’m not genuinely enjoying. It’s not easy, but I’m working on not forcing myself to be productive all the time.
